What mischief have those guests been up to? Call your family, get them to sort this mess, Ethel fumed. Im done cleaning after them. Im already washing the sheets every night because of your friends, and theyve decided to spend the night at our cottage.
Hold on, Mum called, her husband Tom said over dinner. The relatives are planning a weekend barbecue.
Good for them, Ethel replied. Let them go, whats it to us? I never liked your motherinlaw, the old Mrs. Harper.
They just want to use our cottage, Tom explained. They dont own one, and I have to be at the garage on Saturday. He spoke as if it were obvious. I told you we cant go to the cottage this weekend, thats why Mum asked for the keys.
Ethel had no choice but to agree, a decision she later regretted. When they finally drove out to the cottage the next weekend, she was stunned. It looked as if a tornado had hit it.
Berries were strewn everywhere, the floor was grimy, a lone pot of ancient soup sat on the stove, and the kitchen curtains had been ripped off the windows. Ethel could not make sense of the chaos. Toms parents were already in their sixties.
She vented to Tom.
What on earth have those guests done? Call your family, have them come and tidy up, Ethel repeated, exasperated. Im not going to clean after them. Im already washing the sheets after your friends, and theyve made a habit of crashing at our cottage.
Youre overreacting. Toss it in the washing machine, take it out, hang it to dry, Tom suggested.
How about you do all that next time! Are you proud of the state of our cottage and garden? she snapped.
Tom didnt call anyone. Ethel stopped speaking to him, but eventually they made up. Theyd only been married for two years, a lovemarriage, though Ethel now sometimes wondered if shed rushed in. They had no children yet.
Life went on as usual: work, house, house, work. Weekends were spent walking or heading out with friends into the countryside. Everything changed when Ethels mother suddenly remarried and moved to another city. The family cottage fell to Ethel.
From that moment, Toms entire clan seemed to adore her. Relatives kept popping round for visits to the cottage. Everyone knows a barbecue tastes better outdoors!
Cousins, secondcousins, uncles, aunts, even Toms grandmother, all flocked to the river and the grill, along with Toms mates. Most arrived with overnight bags. Tom, as usual, manned the barbie. Ethel was getting fed up, but she didnt want to alienate his family and friends. Something had to be done.
Now the approach of the weekend filled her with nervous excitement. When Ethel and Tom married, his mother was already well into her golden years. Shed had a son quite late in life and also a daughter, Martha, who was ten years older than Tom. Mrs. Harper came from a village and, for some reason, treated everything as a communal affair.
Martha and the motherinlaw would pilfer everything from the cottage creams, shampoos, sponges, even Ethels indoor slippers. Then the motherinlaw called again and asked Tom for the cottage keys. This time Martha wanted to take her boss there for a weekend getaway and a few kebabs.
And, of course, Ethel wasnt asked for her opinion.
Ill give Mum the keys, Tom said. He remembered Ethels reaction to the previous family raid, but chose not to bring it up.
Realising she needed to act, Ethel put Tom on the opposite side of the argument. After weighing her options, she phoned her own mother and complained.
Ill call you back, her mother replied curtly.
About twenty minutes later Ethel called again, telling her mother that her sister and brotherinlaw would be staying at the cottage for a while. Dont worry, Aunt Olive will sort it, she added.
Ethel gasped. Shed always been uneasy about Aunt Olive; as a child shed been sent to stay with her during summer holidays, and those memories still lingered. Aunt Olive, however, was a proper sort of disciplinarian.
That evening Aunt Olive rang.
Well, love, why are you so quiet? You should have called me ages ago. How shall we handle this with a gentle nudge or something more drastic? she laughed, clearly enjoying the drama.
Ethel shivered. Did you tell them the cottage belongs to me? Olive asked.
I dont recall, but theyre all convinced its mine, Ethel admitted.
Dont fret, dear, well sort it out in the best possible way, Olive reassured.
On Sunday Toms motherinlaw called, outraged. Have you sold the cottage? she shouted. Wheres the money? Why didnt anyone tell us?
It turned out that on Saturday Martha, her boss, and Mrs. Harper had all turned up at the cottage. A picturesque group of five was already grilling on the plot.
Who are you? gasped Gertie Palmer, the lady who claimed ownership of the cottage.
And who, pray tell, are you? the authoritative woman demanded, striding toward the group. I am the owner of this cottage; I dont know you. How did you get in? Where did you get the keys?
Mrs. Harper blushed, Martha tried to explain the familyties and the keys shed been handed. Gertie, displeased, stared at them, and Martha stumbled over her words. Gertie kept quiet, just in case.
In the end, the keys were taken back, the uninvited guests were politely asked to leave and not return, with a warning that theyd have to explain where those rogue keys came from.
From a distance Ethel heard Mrs. Harper shouting into the phone. Tom was baffled, unable to interject.
Hand the phone to your wife, Tom said, passing the receiver to Ethel. This cottage isnt yours! the motherinlaw proclaimed grandly.
Did you even ask? Ethel tried to stay calm. Do you think everything around us belongs to you as well?
Do you realise Martha invited her boss to the cottage? Do you know what repercussions that could have? Her company is planning layoffs, and she wanted to butter the boss up. If the boss gets the sack, itll be on your conscience, Gertie snapped.
And what does that have to do with me? Aunt Olive is the owner, shes just on holiday, you never asked me. Buy your own place and enjoy it, Ethel retorted. Youve lived without this cottage before; youll survive without it now.
After this Im never coming back, and neither will my relatives, Tom muttered, his face paling.
It was the first serious fight theyd had. Tom was hurt. Martha lost her job. Ill never forgive you for this, he declared. My family has always loved you, and youve deceived us.
Ethel was convinced Marthas dismissal had another cause. Suddenly she realized she didnt really miss any of them. This wasnt the first time things had gone sour. Their marriage had hit a dead end.
Mum, I think Im getting a divorce, Ethel said.
Its your decision, youre an adult now. Where will you live? Ive already let go of my flat. Move in with Olive, her mother replied.
Thanks, of course, Ethel replied, surprised. I suppose Ill have to rent a flat.
Ethel filed for divorce, rented a new flat, and left Toms house. She never went back to the cottage again.
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