15th October
I find myself writing this diary entry as I reflect on the remarkable yet heartbreaking story of my mother Alice and her husband Edward. Alice at thirty-five believed she would never experience the happiness that comes to a woman, but fate decided otherwise. They came together when both were almost forty years old. Edward had already been a widower for three years at that time. Alice had never been married, but she had given birth to a son. As people say, she had him for herself. In her youth, she had a relationship with a handsome dark-haired fellow named Charles, who promised to marry her and swept the young Alice off her feet. She fell for his promises, which proved to be empty. It turned out later that the suitor from London was married.
Charles’s lawful wife even came to Alice to beg the girl not to break up another family. The young inexperienced Alice gave in. But she decided to keep the child.
And so it happened. Alice gave birth to me, Thomas. And I became her only consolation and joy. I was well brought up and studied well. After finishing school, I enrolled in the economics program at university. Edward visited Alice several times. He offered to live together. But the woman kept hesitating, although she liked Edward. Alice somehow felt ashamed of her own son and the feeling of finally being happy. One evening I decided to talk to my mother. I said that I was not against it: “Mum, I won’t be living at home anyway. Uncle Edward is a reliable man. Just as long as he doesn’t offend you. The main thing is that you are happy.” James, Edward’s son, was also not against it.
So they started living together. They married and had a small celebration. Alice worked in the village library, and Edward worked as a farmer. They did everything together. They managed the household, kept animals, and worked the garden. They loved and respected each other, though it was a shame that God had not granted them any children of their own.
Both James and I got married, and they saw their grandchildren grow. Every holiday they prepared gifts for the children and grandchildren: fresh eggs, milk, cream, pork, and chicken. On holidays, a great many guests gathered in their house. Then Edward and Alice sat at the table, enjoying it all. And they rejoiced that they had someone to celebrate with.
Only in the evenings, when the elderly couple lay down to sleep, each quietly thought: to leave this world first… And never to feel lonely.
Years took their toll. And one day misfortune did creep up… In the morning Alice felt unwell when she had just started making a stew in the kitchen. The elderly woman fell. Edward, with the help of the neighbors, called an ambulance. The doctors said that Alice had had a stroke. All functions were in place except one. Alice could no longer walk. I came with my wife to visit my mother. I gave a hundred pounds for the medicine and left.
Edward hired a car, and when his wife was discharged from the hospital, he and a neighbor carried her into the house.
“Everything will be fine,” he comforted his wife, “you just live. Even if you sit and talk with me. Just live. And I will manage everything. Just don’t leave me, my dear!”
Edward looked after his wife well. After a month she moved to a wheelchair. She helped him in the kitchen. They still did everything together. They peeled potatoes and carrots, sorted the beans. Even baked bread. In the evenings Alice and Edward discussed how they would live from then on. Winter was coming. And Edward had no strength left to chop the firewood.
“Perhaps the children could take us in for the winter, and in spring and summer we could manage by ourselves…”
On the weekend, I came with my wife Helen. My wife, after looking around the whole room, made her conclusion:
“We will have to separate you, dears. We will take mother next week. I will prepare the room. And we will come.”
“And what about me?” Edward whispered awkwardly. “We have never been apart. Children, how can this be?”
“Well, that was earlier, when you had the strength for the household and could take care of yourselves, but now everything is different. Let your son take you too. No one will take you together.”
We drove home. Edward and Alice sighed bitterly and thought about what to do next. Each of them, falling asleep, dreamed of not waking up, so as not to see all of this.
On the next weekend, James and I arrived. We set about packing the things. Edward sat by Alice’s bed. He kept looking at her, recalling their young years. And he cried… He pressed close to his sick wife. And whispered:
“Forgive me, Alice, that it all happened this way for us… Somewhere we fell short in bringing up the children. They are separating us like unwanted kittens. Forgive me. I love you…”
Alice wanted to stroke her husband’s cheek with her hand, but she no longer had the strength… Edward went out, wiping his tears with his sleeve. And once in the car, he no longer wiped them…
Then we, with my wife and the neighbor, set about gathering Alice, wrapped her in a blanket and began to carry her out of the house… feet first. The sick woman thought that this was very symbolic… My mother did not resist; she had gone when Edward left. And the sick woman only wanted not to survive until the evening.
A week passed. On a fine autumn day their dream came true. Alice and Edward met in the other world.
In writing this, I have come to understand a personal lesson: that we should never allow circumstances or the opinions of others to separate those who have found true companionship, as the pain of loneliness in old age is a heavy burden indeed.15th October
I find myself writing this diary entry as I reflect on the remarkable yet heartbreaking story of my mother Alice and her husband Edward. Alice at thirty-five believed she would never experience the happiness that comes to a woman, but fate decided otherwise. They came together when both were almost forty years old. Edward had already been a widower for three years at that time. Alice had never been married, but she had given birth to a son. As people say, she had him for herself. In her youth, she had a relationship with a handsome dark-haired fellow named Charles, who promised to marry her and swept the young Alice off her feet. She fell for his promises, which proved to be empty. It turned out later that the suitor from London was married.
Charles’s lawful wife even came to Alice to beg the girl not to break up another family. The young inexperienced Alice gave in. But she decided to keep the child.
And so it happened. Alice gave birth to me, Thomas. And I became her only consolation and joy. I was well brought up and studied well. After finishing school, I enrolled in the economics program at university. Edward visited Alice several times. He offered to live together. But the woman kept hesitating, although she liked Edward. Alice somehow felt ashamed of her own son and the feeling of finally being happy. One evening I decided to talk to my mother. I said that I was not against it: “Mum, I won’t be living at home anyway. Uncle Edward is a reliable man. Just as long as he doesn’t offend you. The main thing is that you are happy.” James, Edward’s son, was also not against it.
So they started living together. They married and had a small celebration. Alice worked in the village library, and Edward worked as a farmer. They did everything together. They managed the household, kept animals, and worked the garden. They loved and respected each other, though it was a shame that God had not granted them any children of their own.
Both James and I got married, and they saw their grandchildren grow. Every holiday they prepared gifts for the children and grandchildren: fresh eggs, milk, cream, pork, and chicken. On holidays, a great many guests gathered in their house. Then Edward and Alice sat at the table, enjoying it all. And they rejoiced that they had someone to celebrate with.
Only in the evenings, when the elderly couple lay down to sleep, each quietly thought: to leave this world first… And never to feel lonely.
Years took their toll. And one day misfortune did creep up… In the morning Alice felt unwell when she had just started making a stew in the kitchen. The elderly woman fell. Edward, with the help of the neighbors, called an ambulance. The doctors said that Alice had had a stroke. All functions were in place except one. Alice could no longer walk. I came with my wife to visit my mother. I gave a hundred pounds for the medicine and left.
Edward hired a car, and when his wife was discharged from the hospital, he and a neighbor carried her into the house.
“Everything will be fine,” he comforted his wife, “you just live. Even if you sit and talk with me. Just live. And I will manage everything. Just don’t leave me, my dear!”
Edward looked after his wife well. After a month she moved to a wheelchair. She helped him in the kitchen. They still did everything together. They peeled potatoes and carrots, sorted the beans. Even baked bread. In the evenings Alice and Edward discussed how they would live from then on. Winter was coming. And Edward had no strength left to chop the firewood.
“Perhaps the children could take us in for the winter, and in spring and summer we could manage by ourselves…”
On the weekend, I came with my wife Helen. My wife, after looking around the whole room, made her conclusion:
“We will have to separate you, dears. We will take mother next week. I will prepare the room. And we will come.”
“And what about me?” Edward whispered awkwardly. “We have never been apart. Children, how can this be?”
“Well, that was earlier, when you had the strength for the household and could take care of yourselves, but now everything is different. Let your son take you too. No one will take you together.”
We drove home. Edward and Alice sighed bitterly and thought about what to do next. Each of them, falling asleep, dreamed of not waking up, so as not to see all of this.
On the next weekend, James and I arrived. We set about packing the things. Edward sat by Alice’s bed. He kept looking at her, recalling their young years. And he cried… He pressed close to his sick wife. And whispered:
“Forgive me, Alice, that it all happened this way for us… Somewhere we fell short in bringing up the children. They are separating us like unwanted kittens. Forgive me. I love you…”
Alice wanted to stroke her husband’s cheek with her hand, but she no longer had the strength… Edward went out, wiping his tears with his sleeve. And once in the car, he no longer wiped them…
Then we, with my wife and the neighbor, set about gathering Alice, wrapped her in a blanket and began to carry her out of the house… feet first. The sick woman thought that this was very symbolic… My mother did not resist; she had gone when Edward left. And the sick woman only wanted not to survive until the evening.
A week passed. On a fine autumn day their dream came true. Alice and Edward met in the other world.
In writing this, I have come to understand a personal lesson: that we should never allow circumstances or the opinions of others to separate those who have found true companionship, as the pain of loneliness in old age is a heavy burden indeed.